Twilight

Watching Twilight. With Judy.

This was originally posted by me on a now defunct blog almost five years ago, on July 24, 2010. This post is a commentary on the first Twilight movie as my friend Judit and I watched it for the first time. Now as part of Throw Back Thursday, it gets re-posted.

The thing: I could finish the first paragraph in Bella’s opening narration before she finished the sentence. Not a good sign.

Why would anyone with over a century of life experience want to go back to high school? Isn’t dating someone 100 years younger than you and still a minor illegal?

Edward Cullen would make a perfect AVON lady dealer.  He already wears a full catalogue’s worth of make-up.

It’s evident: Bella stinks. And it’s not only me, who thinks that. Just look at Edward.

11 minutes into the film I already have had 4 negative remarks. Not bad.

Bella does look like a badly cloned Hermione Granger. If you can’t keep your mouth closed, it’s usually not a sign of intelligence, you know.

It takes all of 14 minutes before a male has to assist/help/rescue Bella. (Did you guys know my writing style was masculine?)

They are talking about the weather. This might be the highlight of the film.

Judy says vampires are rude.

20 minutes, 26 seconds: Bella is once again rescued by a male character. This is starting to sound like a Young Women’s manual.

Is everyone, who is not an African-American, cloroxed white? In a way that it’s obvious that it’s make up?

Kristen Stewart reached the heights of Elijah Wood when it comes to acting: she looks permanently tormented.

Once there was an Elder Cullen serving in my branch. He was a light skinned, fair haired missionary. I think from Utah. Or maybe Washington. Hmmmm. Now I wonder.

96 minutes till I can watch the Cube. Mmmm, David Hewlett…

I might  be a zombie. I am attracted to characters with brains. Like Rodney McKay. And yeah, I’m off topic.

After the Cube Judy wants to watch Harry Potter 4. At least one good role for Robert Pattinson for tonight.

Jacob looks like a 5-year-old at the 300th percentile of the growth chart. With professional tooth whitening.  (Keep reading on by clicking below.)

(more…)

Advertisements